Dear Blog-
The Phoenix Mercury won game #1 against the Indiana Sting/Shock... I don't know what they call themselves... but the Mercury won... in overtime!! I'm stoked... and completely impudent at the same time. I think I'm gonna eat a Mexican-Viagra when I watch the next game... and see if anything happens to my wiener-ma-bob. Stay tuned...
Your pal,
jme
P. S. I haven't been this turned-off since I saw the Warren Beatty marathon on the Oxygen Channel.
Dear Blog-
The word of the week is
rusty trombone
noun
When a guy stands up straight, while a girl licks his asscrack and jerks him off
Okay... now let's use it in a sentence.
1. OMG... I've been doing it wrong for years!! (I know that doesn't have the word rusty trombone in it... but I'm just being honest!!)
2. HHMMM...
3. God... I wonder what ever happened to that grrrl...
4. I hope to get a rusty trombone for christmas.
Okay... even I learned a few thing with this week's WOTW.
Your pal,
jme
P.S. I bet Warren Beatty gives excellent rusty trombones!!
Dear Blog-
First, I only had one reader last week... and the suggested WOTW was... lame?!?!?! Yeah... pretty much.
Okay... this week's word is...
Superman-Dat-Hoe
verb
When you are with a girl and you don't get any action, you wait until she falls asleep, then jack off onto her back so when she rolls over, the sheet sticks to her back...giving her a cape.
Okay... before we use it in a sentence... I wanna draw a few things to your attention. First, you may recognize this word from Soulja Boy. Yep... you're correct!! Next, you may realize that the definition isn't very "diverse." DON'T BLAME ME!! Blame Urban Dictionary!! So... I want to point out that... YES... a guy can do this to another guy!! Let's keep it REAL here at my blog and welcome everybody!! (just to make things easy... I'm going to write my sentences as if I am with a woman... but please feel free to use your sentences however you see fit).
Sweet... now let's use it in a sentence.
I was just about to Superman-Dat-Hoe when she suddenly rolled over and I could see her face. Her face was my kryptonite.
Hey!! I think I just saved $50 on a Halloween costume this year!! (yeah... I know that doesn't have Superman-Dat-Hoe in it... but I'm just sayin'...)
After I gave her a two-finger cul-de-sac, she fell asleep. So I Superman-Dat-Hoe!! (that one is worth 2 points!!)
Okay... the rest is up to you. Use this word as part of your everyday vocabulary this week... at work... with your friends... at the bar... and pretty soon you'll be getting that early inheritance, promotion, and poon-tang galore!!
Your pal,
jme
P. S. Fuck you Warren Beatty. I'll give Annette Benning a Superman-Dat-Hoe.
Dear Blog-
I change my mind... AGAIN!! My favorite Jonas Brother is now Kevin.
Your pal,
jme
Dear Blog-
My favorite actor... from May 1987 to the first 5 months of 1990... has died. That's right... Mr. Patrick Swayze... is dead. In that time, he made three movies. What movies you ask? Well... READ THE FUCKING TITLE AGAIN... YOU HIP-THRUSTING, RED-NECK, SISSY!!
Speaking of red-neck, hip-thrusting, sissies... go out and buy (don't rent!!) "Dirty Dancing," "Road House," and "Ghost." Then ask yourself... Why the hell didn't this guy take his own life 20 years ago? If you're still not convinced... buy (DON'T RENT!!) "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar." Seriously... that's the actual name of the movie. Seriously times 2... I can't believe he didn't kill himself before Michael Jackson!!
You know what... if I'm ever playing charades... and the clue is "movie"and some dumb-ass-mother-fucker writes down "To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar" ... they're going to be joining Mr. Patrick Swayze... in heaven.
That's right... Mr. Swayze is in heaven...and he's an angel right now. His sexxxy-hips, his Hollywood hair, and the fact that he was in "Skatetown, U.S.A." pretty much secured him a spot with Our Lord Jesus Christ Almighty... years before his passing! Hallelujah!! That's more than I can say about you, Michael Jackson.
Your pal,
jme
P. S. Don't worry... Warren Beatty is still going to hell!!
Dear Blog-
I couldn't think of a word this week... so how about you/my readers give me one!!
Your pal,
jme
Dear Blog-
Herer is our Word Of The Week.
Labor Day
noun. A national holiday in the United States and Canada in honor of working people. Labor Day is observed on the first Monday in September.
Okay... now let's use it in a sentence.
I didn't have to do shit on Labor Day.
Okay... good enough. You only have a 4 day work week... so try and use this word as many times as you can in the next 4 days. Here's another example:
How was your Labor Day? It was great!! I gave myself a 2-finger-cul-de-sac with my hair-fork!
Your pal,
jme
Dear Blog-
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