Dear Blog-
Apparently... "FUCK ME HARDER!!" isn't a good safe word. Trust me on this. I don't know what to do? I've tried a bunch... but none of them seem to work. Or they work too well... because the cops keep showing up... or I wake up in the ER.
Here's a list of some "safe words" I've used in the past:
1. Fuck me like a 12 year old Vietnamese boy!
2. Yes... you can put that there!
3. Yes... you can beat me up!
4. I didn't say you could stop!
5. Call some friends with STD's and invite them over!
6. Use the pepper-spray!
7. Don't stop! Don't stop!
8. Put your cigarette out on my eye-lids!
9. One finger? Try the whole fist!
10. Don't worry... it will grow back!! (BTW... it does... but only after a 16 hour "procedure" with a perfect donor. Thank you Jamaal. RIP).
Anyway, I need your help. Does anyone have a better safe word for me? And before I get another hate letter from Mr. Anonymous telling me these aren't "words," they're... sentences/phrases/idioms/metaphors/similes or whatever... just remember what the objective is. I'm asking you... my reader... for help. Please share your "safe word/s" with me... so I don't have to spend another 16 hours in the ER.
Your pal,
jme
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